


Epitaph on Ambria

by TheRealJeanGenie



Series: Lindòrea (English Version) [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Not Canon Compliant - Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Post-Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker Fix-It, Translation, Written Pre-Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-20
Updated: 2020-03-20
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:28:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23224780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheRealJeanGenie/pseuds/TheRealJeanGenie
Summary: An unavoidable encounter, a moment’s respite, too many unsaid words.
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Series: Lindòrea (English Version) [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1669888
Comments: 1
Kudos: 3





	Epitaph on Ambria

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [Epitaffio su Ambria](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20581460) by [TheRealJeanGenie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheRealJeanGenie/pseuds/TheRealJeanGenie). 



> All of this (this one shot, the long-fic in twenty chapters that will follow and what will come next) was written in the two years preceding The Rise of Skywalker, when I still believed in happy endings. This world unfolds after The Last Jedi. It will not turn into The Rise of Skywalker, if not in a rather bizarre and marginal way. Here, Ben and Rey are going in a completely different direction. We start again from the post-Crait.  
>  This story and the ones that will follow have been written in Italian. This is a translation of 
> 
> **[Epitaffio su Ambria](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20581460) **
> 
> .  
>  Any grammatical or formal suggestion by native speakers is desirable and welcome.

**Epitaph on Ambria**

Up until ten days before Rey believed that Ambria was another legend, an ancient planet with sharp rocks among which ancient Jedi were trained with ancient rituals.

She had expected to find under her feet a desert similar to Jakku and in front of her eyes the falling vestiges of lost times like those of Ahch-To. Instead, all they found were stones and bare vegetation.

But Natth Lake does exist even if it is blue and clear. Its water do not boil with the power of the Dark Side and it does not harbor monstrous and evil creatures. Even if once it was so, now the mirror of water is only the peaceful guardian of a forgotten planet.

Soon everyone will descend to the shore, in a ravine hidden by rocks and shrubs where the pit has already been excavated and the tombstone positioned. No one will ever disturb her rest.

The choice of Ambria as a shelter was Connix’s. She seems the only one to have the necessary judgment to manage their precarious situation. She managed to set up a makeshift camp using what remained remained of the dwellings of the ancient inhabitants. They are short of weapons and supplies and the air is pervaded by a strange sense of unavoidable anguish.

“We donned her a white dress, with the crest of the royal house of Alderaan…” Connix tells her, trying to disguise the voice broken by crying. 

_Yes. That’s nice._

Leia loved white or at least that’s what Poe says. Not that he talks much in those days. He’s supposed to be their guide, but he’s letting the pain eat him up. Rey doesn’t feel like blaming him. She’s not ready to let her go either.

She didn’t die in battle. There was no glory for her. General Leia Organa simply fell ill and she closed her eyes forever, holding Rey’s hand.

She finds that deeply unfair. It wasn’t her face Leia wanted in front of her eyes in those last moments.

But she won’t share those thoughts with anyone, not even Finn, who is waiting for her near the coffin, next to Rose.

Rey wants to cry, And maybe she will, later, when she will be alone.

There are few of them. A bunch of deluded people who still refuse to accept defeat. Seeing her collapse would be a blow too great. They believe her a Jedi, even though she never completed her training. She knows she has no choice but to take on that role worthily. With Leia’s death, she is the last guardian of the Force.

_The last…_

Leia deserved a state funeral. Flowers, music, a royal tomb. Instead she has only them and their sadness.

But her coffin is beautiful. It really is. In golden and clear crystal. And they carved a headstone that will remember her forever.

The air is pleasantly crisp on that planet with the lowest reputation. They say it was dry, millennia ago. But centuries pass and the truth changes shape.

The coffin of Leia Organa moves towards its final abode, floating on a landspeeder turned into a catafalque. And they follow it, everyone, head bowed and not saying a word.  
As the pit is filling, Rey closes her eyes trying to remember Leia’s face in a sharply way, to preserve and retain it.

She's been trying to capture an image of Leia since she left them forever, a Force Ghost, luminescent and benevolent, as the Holy Texts of the Jedi Order narrate. But she got nothing.

All that remains are the words that someone pronounces as a eulogy but she doesn’t listen to.

Because _he_ is there. What she feels is his presence and everything else is swallowed up by that absurd bond that she hoped had disappeared forever. _  
_

From that distance he just looks like a pilgrim wrapped in a dark cloak. But there should be no one in that place but them. No one else seems to have noticed him. He’s probably hiding his presence with some mind trick that she still doesn’t know. Whatever it is, it has no effect on her.

 _Go away_ , Rey screams through the Force. He doesn’t answer. The pain she has always felt in him becomes sharp as a knife. She should tell the others. Warn them. But Rey remains silent.

This could be a chance that won’t happen again. They could catch him, kill him. They could end the war forever. But she cannot betray him. Not now. Not in that circumstance. Ben Solo has more right than all of them to be there.

In front of his mother’s grave.

_Leia Organa Solo_

_Princess of Alderaan_

_Senator of the Republic_

_General_

_Rebel_

_Leader_

_Friend_

Every letter engraved on the tombstone is delicate and neat. Rey lets him read those words through her eyes. There is no brutality while she allows him to invade her mind. It only resembles to a slight drunkenness from fermented berries.

She doesn’t want to give herself the hope of still believing he can change. It’s an illusion that was broken along with Master Skywalker’s lightsaber. But she cannot claim the right to take that moment away from him. Not while he shares that sadness with her without worrying about looking weak.

_Did you really want your past to die, Ben? So why does it hurt so much?_

_______

She waited for it all to be over. She waited for each of them to shut themselves up in their silence. Then she went back to the lake clearing.

He is waiting for her. Her instincts did not deceive her. It seems as if he has not moved since the funeral ended, a static and powerful figure close to the waterfront, confused with the rough brown color of the surrounding rocks. Rey touches the hilt of her lightsaber. It is rough and does not always work well. But Luke’s can’t be repaired and no one can use it anymore. Not her, not Ben. At least that matter between them can be considered solved. Rey keeps the two halves but they are nothing more than a relic. She’ll never have the courage to throw it away.

Touching her weapon gives her confidence. It doesn’t matter that he doesn’t wear black at the time. Having him in front of her eyes is still terrible.

The mist announcing the dawn envelops the landscape. He turns his back on her and it is better this way. His way of looking at her has always made her feel guilty that she can’t really understand him.

“You didn’t tell your friends I was here.” 

It is an obvious statement. No, she did not and she gave herself a thousand different reasons for not doing that. She should have, and she’ll have plenty of time to regret it tomorrow.

“Now is not the time to fight. Today no one will shed blood. Not even yours.”

She said it with contempt. She can’t help it. If she had not chosen to follow the Jedi path, she might have allowed herself to hate him. But hatred is the way to the Dark Side. So she hides the anger inside herself as she forgives him for making the wrong choice.

“Did she suffer?”

She wants to hit him again. Hit him where it hurts the most. Because his voice has trembled as he asked her that question.

_It’s too late to ask it, Ben…_

“Do you care? She suffered. She suffered since you left. Since you betrayed your family. She suffered for every one of your wicked deeds.”

A vibration. Kylo Ren. Ben Solo. Anger. But it’s not directed at her.

_Talk to me. Explain to me. Please. How could you do this? Why didn’t you come with me?“  
_

“She wanted to meet you one last time. And you…”

_You too would have wanted that, Ben…  
_

“Shut up." He almost looks broken. His height does not support him under a weight that risks bending him at any moment at all. “I’ll return the favor. I’ll give you three days to leave this place unharmed. Find a new shelter. I’ll pretend I’ve never been here, but you need to leave. Otherwise you will all die and it will be over. You will all die and you, Rey, will die first.”

He turns and under the hood of his cloak his eyes burn. Why is Ben allowing her to see him fall apart?

“Ben…”

She would like to tell him that it is not too late. That everything can come to a peaceful end at that very moment. But she doesn’t know the right words. Yet she must try. “Why do we have to go on? You have nothing more to prove. To no one. They’ve all gone. All those who hurt you and you hurt in return. Luke, your father and now her too… Why…”

“You’re right. There is no one anymore. The people that Ben Solo loved no longer exist. And he has died with them. Three days, Rey. Then I’ll come looking for you and we’ll get it over.”

_There is no one anymore._

His words hurt more than a saber stroke.

_So I’m nobody. Even for you._

But he is a furnace that boils with regret. She feels it. He cannot hide it from her.

She watches him walk away and she has no intention of following him. She doesn’t care where he hid his ship. All she knows is that he’s leaving, and in a moment, she’ll think she just dreamt him. 

Ben Solo is now just a cursed ghost, lost forever. The Supreme Leader Kylo Ren has buried him that day along with Leia’s memory.

_Next time I see him, it’ll be our last._

As she makes her way back to camp, Rey’s wet eyes glide over Leia’s tombstone, hoping that she really doesn’t hear or see anything.

She stops by swallowing the bitter taste she feels in her mouth, then she kneels, caressing the letters carefully engraved until she touch the last words, rougher, carved with the bloody light of a lightsaber.

_Leia Organa Solo_

_Princess of Alderaan_

_Senator of the Republic_

_General_

_Rebel_

_Leader_

_Friend_

**MOTHER**


End file.
